Through the magic of the inter webz

2010
05.18

I stumbled upon a blog post on write-brained that was talking about another post on Fiction Groupie and had to follow the linkage. Turns out Fiction Groupie is hosting a little blogovent (my new made up word to describe these awesome blog events lately, you like it?) called The “Let’s Talk” Blogfest. Basically, post some of your MS’s dialog on your blog, link back to Fiction Groupie (done and done!) and have fun! PLEASE go to their site and look at everyone that is participating. Super rad!

So, here is my dialog… Standard paranoid writer disclosure (it’s not done yet, blah blah blah). The conversation is between the Chief of Police, a NY State Tropper Captain, and his friend just after a major catastrophe… let’s watch!

“Well, it’s only going to get worse. What’s your plan?” Ellis asked.

You can do your job, that’s my plan. You know how your team is. Without you, they’re like fricken’ teenagers on steroids. When they get back, I want you to talk to ’em about duty, pride and all that crap. Then we gotta figure out what to do about our squad’s. We can barely monitor a five mile radius of the station without vehicles, let alone the whole town.”

“Well, sir, Brandon here has a working truck. I’m sure he’s willing to chauffeur us around, right?” Ellis asked, knowing Brandon would agree.

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine, on one condition.” Brandon uncrossed his arms and leaned in closer to the Chief. “I expect that I can carry a weapon? I’ll be putting myself in harms way, and I should be allowed to protect myself.”

“Yeah sure. No problem. I’m gonna have to deputize you though, to make it copacetic. Not that anyone gives a crap right now, but I gotta stick to the rules while there are still rules to stick to. Besides, Ellis has been talking about getting you on the force for at least a year now,” The Chief said.

“Hold on, now. I’m just helping out, I’m not looking for an employer.” Brandon put his hands up defensively.

“Fine, we’ll call you a contracted deputy if it’ll help you sleep at night. Come and go as you want. Just help get my guys get around.”

“And I can carry whatever weapon I need, right?” Brandon asked. Ellis knew Brandon had a particular weapon in mind.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Your buddies with the Captain here and have decent taste in cigars, so I trust ya not to do anything stupid.”

Brandon smiled. “Alright, sign me up.”

“Alrighty, Captain Johnson, you’re the witness to this. By the power vested in me by the state of New York, blah blah blah, I hereby deputize Brandon… what’s your last name?” The Chief asked.

“James,” Brandon replied.

“Okay, Brandon James as a deputy of the New York State Troopers, yada yada yada. Congrats, your an officer.”

Brandon turned to Ellis and said with a smirk, “So I guess you’re my boss. Happy now?”

“No… not like this, Brandon… Never like this,” Ellis replied. Brandon’s lips fell to a frown, almost quivering.

Tada! What do you think?

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6 Responses to “Through the magic of the inter webz”

  1. Oh, I like! Dying to know what the secret weapon might be, and I love the yada-yada/blah-blah swearing in. This is fun and intriguing.

  2. […] heard about this from Chris and immediately thought, “I have the perfect scene. I was just working on […]

  3. C. Michael, a good excerpt of dialogue. It gives a differentiating glimpse into the character of each man speaking. Good job. You caught us up with the sense of urgency and disaster — I lived in the emergency services during Katrina and Rita, and I know from experience how that feels and sounds. You did a fine job of capturing that sense of need versus rules. Thanks, Roland

  4. roh says:

    I love this scene. It’s very…cigar smoke, secret-boys-club.

    Good choice!

  5. Shelli says:

    I really enjoyed this. It was a nice change of pace from all that romance on the other blogs. I like how you differentiated between characters. Ellis seems like he might be the one with a good head on his shoulders, maybe a little more aware of the seriousness of the situation. Good hook, I’d like to read more.

  6. Tara says:

    This is great. I want to know his weapon of choice – and what is meant by that last bit. Nice job.

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